Screenplay by Susan Eno
(Scene: Evening in the countryside of Montana. A bubbling brook can be seen in the moonlight. There is a large rock near the brook.)
(Two men, Murray and Manifred, emerge from the shadows. They both head toward the rock.)
Murray: Manifred! What are you doing here?
Manifred: Girlfriend kicked me out.
Manifred: She said I never talk to her.
Murray: Do you?
(Murray and Manifred both sit down on the rock. A long silence ensues.)
Murray: My girlfriend kicked me out, too. She said that all I care about is sex.
Murray: (somewhat angrily) It’s not true. I also like her cooking.
(Another long pause. Only crickets can be heard.)
(Murray gets restless. He shifts somewhat on the rock.)
Manifred: Hey! Keep your distance! This film is not Brokeback Mountain.
Murray: What are you, homophobic?
Manifred: Not me! I think men are okay.
(Both of them look nervous. They move further apart on the rock.)
Murray: Wanna talk about sports?
Manifred: Nah. All my teams are losing.
Manifred: Jeez no.
(Another long silence)
Murray: Wanna throw pebbles in the creek?
Manifred: I guess.
(Both of them pitch pebbles. As each pebble lands, a liquid kerplunk can be heard.)
Murray: We should stay out a long time to teach our girlfriends a lesson.
Manifred: Do you think they would notice?
Manifred: Wanna head into town? We could have some brewskies at the Lurid Rooster Tavern.
(They both stand up from the rock. But they did not know that it was covered with moss.)
Murray: Oh no! My ass is all green.
Manifred: Mine too. Ya got any moss remover?
Murray: No. I only have lipstick remover. I’m cheating on my girlfriend.
Manifred: I guess we’ve run out of things to do.
(So they get in a fistfight.)
(By the end of the fight, everything in sight has been destroyed. The two men are exhausted.)
Murray (collapsed on the ground): It hasn’t been such a bad evening. Wanna do it again sometime?
Manifred (collapsed on the ground): Sure.